Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Im part way to drunk.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Randomize
