Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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