so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
In other news, I just burned my penis
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
