someone get that fucking seahorse.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
My bed is full of blood and feathers
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
did i just pee glitter
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
