Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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