It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
