hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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