At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
