hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
