? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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