How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
