All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
