I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
