just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
