I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
