I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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