im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
