Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
