"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
