the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
