I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
