I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
my god I love twenty year old dicks
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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