Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
