Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
