there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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