I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Randomize
