I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
