that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I supernannyed him into submission
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize