Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
