Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
