last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
