ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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