But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
