I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
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He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
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I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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