Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
