I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
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