just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize