I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
