My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I don't think brook has ever known best
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
