your room smells of hookers.
And success
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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