I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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