Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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