After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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