They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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