My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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