I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Im just a social blackout drinker.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
