you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
