She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize