Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
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