Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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