i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
