i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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