I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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