Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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