is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
