her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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