New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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