I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
