i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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