Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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