my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
