she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize