i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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