Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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