pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
