This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
