the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
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so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
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you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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