Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize