This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
