All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
