Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
